Narcissist

Day in day out. Same shits different days.

I think I have been distracted quite much lately. Too focussing on others that bring no add on benefits into my previously peaceful life. Too much nonsense.

Sigh. I admit to my own mistakes - being too kind and optimist on people, expecting everybody would have the similar vibe in them. But no! Definitely, not everyone knows how to be kind. Many are deceitful, manipulative and egocentric. Several are true narcissists. This time, I met someone with such strong narcissistic values. And it was tormenting. And fucking dreadful.

There is clearly nothing can be done about any narcissists. They cant be helped at all. We can only run, as far as we can, away from this type of assholes. Save our own ass before they bring ultimate misery into our lives.

I cant even wish them well, to be honest. I hope they stay miserable by themselves because clearly, they are just inhumane.

~ disgusted ~

Time Lost

I was at work and scrolling through "memories" section in facebook.

There they were, many albums of my nephews and niece, over the past many years.

I miss cuddling each of them. I miss their smells when they were little. I miss kissing their cheeks at anytime they get closer to me. I miss hugging them tenderly while they enjoy babbling languages that I couldnt understood. I just miss them being so little.

And then, it hit me hard.

This is how bad my parents must be missing me too. The little me. The innocent me. The chatty me. The fun me. The cute me. 

The me thats missing my little nephews and niece were both happy and sad. My heart feels heavy.

This is how my parents are feeling too. This heavy heart. This exact same emotions.

May Allah rewards rewards my parents with the highest of Jannah.

~ life cycle ~

Kocong not Kucing

 

Kenapa awak ni comel sangat ni. Midlife crisis ke sayang? "Im not Kucing. Im Kocong" hahahahaha cuteeeeee cat!!!!!

~ i wish im not scared of cat ~

Relentless

It has been slightly over 2 weeks of me not visiting here. Im not sure why. Maybe coz I have a better distraction? Or maybe coz I am at a better state? Or am I at my worst phase?

I cant be sure myself. But here I am. Thinking what to write while the mind feels suffocated.

You know what, Im done.

~ resenting? ~