Today feels dark
Despite all the light
Today feels lost
Despite all the new find
Today feels hollow
Despite all the full heart
Today is just another day
Where I am revisiting the square 1
Another struggle to remain strong
Another struggle to remain forgiving
Today feels heavy
Because I miss seeing myself hopeful
I miss seeing myself witty
I miss seeing myself happy
This too, shall pass
This is just another day
Just today
I promise
Something worthy to read.
To remind ourselves, we are all worthy - way beyond our own expectations.
Lets just take one step at a time.
To all the quiet hustlers, this is for us.
+++++++++
I am just an average. I’m not the most talented, the most successful, or the most remarkable person in any room. I exist in the quiet middle ground where expectations are neither sky-high nor rock-bottom. My achievements are modest, and my flaws, though not extraordinary, are plenty. Yet, there is a certain comfort in this place, a peacefulness in knowing that I don’t have to be exceptional to matter. I can find contentment in the simple routines of daily life, in small victories and setbacks that don’t define me but shape me. To be average is to be free from the pressure of perfection, a reminder that there is dignity in the everyday.
In a world that glorifies extremes, there’s a quiet strength in embracing the middle. Being average doesn't mean being invisible or uninvolved—it means I am part of the crowd, experiencing life without the need for recognition. I don’t have to live for accolades or chase the highest peaks to feel fulfilled. There’s joy in mediocrity, in knowing that I’m just one person among many, contributing in my own way. The average existence is not a failure; it’s simply a reminder that life, at its core, is about living authentically, without needing to stand out or constantly strive for more. And perhaps, in embracing this truth, I’ve found my own version of success.
— Balt
~ embrace this mediocrity ~
Assalammualaikum..
It has been a while. To a point that I forget the purpose of me writing.
It soothes my inner voice. Calming down the loud silence in me.
So here I am, coming back, for myself.
2023-2024 - its ups and downs were just too significant. Subhanallah for all the tests and Alhamdulillah for His mercy allowing me to get through it.
2025 - this year it is about me. Growing positively. Mentally and physically healthier, inshaAllah. Running my 3-5km almost daily. Aiming for 10km by the end of the year, inshaAllah.
++++++++++
Kadang dalam kuning di ufuk senja, datang rasa tiba-tiba sayup. Entah. Bukan kosong. Tapi tenang.
Kadang timbul rasa risau.
Inikah ketenangan? Inikah sebenar aman yang dicari selama ini? Terlalu sayup di celah bingit. Namun tenang.
Untuk jiwa-jiwa yang pernah hadir sengaja melukai, aku perlahan-lahan cuba memaafkan. Atas izin Allah, biarlah segala rasa yang pernah ada itu terus hilang tanpa memori.
Bukan dendam, bukan amarah, bukan kecewa.
Tapi sedar, dunia ini bukan tempat untuk berbahagia dan bersenang lenang cuma.
Dalam jujur kita, ada manusia berniat dusta.
Dalam ikhlas kita, ada manusia bermain rasa.
Bukankah Allah dah janjikan, dunia ini cuma sekadar persinggahan?
Cukuplah.
Biarlah dahaga rasa yang ada, kini cuma pada Dia.
Berbekalkan usia 4 dekad, aku rasa aku dah cukup merasa - tinggi rendah segala perihal yang patut ada.
Berkumpul berbakul-bakul dosa.
Entah banyak mana sahaja pahala yang ada.
Cukuplah.
Sekarang hanya untuk Dia.
~ hasbunallah wani'mal wakeel ~
It is near the end of 2022.
It really goes by at a blink of an eye.
This year started with hope - loadssss of it. And I thought this year will end with a stronger vibe.
But I was wrong. Mehhhhh.
Tests and challenges are in fact signs of Allah's reminder as well as blessings.
Nothing good comes easy, I believe.
Allah made a person, K, came into my life - but it was short lived.
Promises were broken, memories were dark.
But I am gonna look at this from a positive perspective.
I know I do not lose anything.
I am on the winning end - big win.
He came at a good time, really. And I thought I was ready. Yet no, I was actually never ready.
Again, I know now that it was a test from Him the al-Mighty.
To remind me that I should always rely on Him.
- during the goods and the bads, the ups and the downs.
La hawla wala quwwata illa billah...
I may have no shoulder to cry on sometimes, but I always have a ground to put my head and shed my tears on.
Because only Allah is the ultimate Listener.
May the end of 2022, marks a good start of the upcoming years. I am all ready.
Embarking a new journey of freedom and self-love - inshaAllah.
| May Allah removes this testing sorrow from me |
In a blink of an eye
Another year has passed by
And today is another day
I whine and sigh and cry
For the secret that I hold
As dark as the gloomy night sky
| Tomorrow is always a chance to be better |