It Is Okay

If you’ve accepted that it’s over and still miss them, know that it’s okay. Healing isn’t about forgetting; it’s about learning to live with the memories without letting them control you. You can miss someone and still know they weren’t meant to stay. You can look back on what you had with love, even if it ended in pain. Missing them doesn’t mean you’re weak, and it doesn’t mean you should go back—it simply means they were a part of your story, and letting go takes time.  

But remember this: missing them is just a feeling, not a reason to reopen a closed door. You are allowed to feel, but don’t let nostalgia trick you into rewriting the past. There’s a reason it ended, and there’s a future waiting for you beyond what was. Let yourself miss them, but also remind yourself that you deserve a love that stays, grows, and chooses you every single day. Keep moving forward—one day, missing them won’t feel so heavy anymore.

— Balt Rodriguez

Maturity At Its Best

I have been here for long - since 2009. But prior to blogspot domain, I had my blogging posts parked in 'Friendster' for years (gosh, do YOU even know about this vintage social media's name? Well now it is called Facebook!). 

Then, when Friendster was diminished and changed to Facebook, their blogging platforms got deactivated and my posts could not be recalled or archived at all. My silly mistake was not being bothered enough to transfer all those posts into another domain during that closing period. 

As far as I could remember, my posts in that platform were a lot more lively, and full of travelling experience. Zaman mula study dekat UK. Zaman torrent Jwg network paling upscale dengan pantas - semua rasa macam satu family. Zaman aku gila jadi online DJ dekat Jwg torrent site. Zaman penuh kerasukan ablasa. Hahahaha tenat. Masa tu aku sezaman dengan Cik Epal dan Keknis - they were the kings/queens of bloggers and we were quite the 'in-network', tapi rajin hi-bye je la kat posts comments or blogsite chatbox masing-masing. 

When I put this blog into hiatus in 2022, all those statistics showed that there was quite a number of unique visitors coming into this blog of mine, viewing my old posts. This trend slowed down after the hiatus. 

Anybody looking for me? Eceh. Perasan. But honestly, if YOU are reading this, and if YOU were the one(s) coming here looking for my updates every now and then, this is for you. 

 ---- How are you? How is life treating you? Tough? Smooth sailing? Rollercoaster-ing? 

Well, maybe we are on the same boat. Life isnt getting any easier. But I get better in dealing with the 'not easier(s)'.

Tonight, is malam ke 22 Ramadhan. Tiba-tiba I had this urge to read quickly through the old pages, dated from 2009.

Funny how I could see my posts 'maturing'. Being more vulnerable and honest to my own feelings. Tho becoming less articulating and less active in publishing, I saw myself being more accepting. The old me sounded so frank, but there were untold hollows, sounded fun but werent as exposed. 

Lah kelakar. Segmen meng-skodeng abang bomba di Leicester tetap terpahat dalam hati. Hobi di kala sunyi, sayup melontar sepi pandangan kat tepi tingkap condo. Eh, tah-apa-apa.

But anyhu, I hope you are doing good too. Not great, but good, is good enough. Geddit? 😅 

I guess people in this era have move away from blogging. They choose X, Instagram, Thread, FB etc etc over this more lengthy style of writing. 

Nampak tak, sebenarnya manusia dah semakin malas membaca? That is from my POV. Zaman ni, kalau boleh, readers nak semua in bullet points je. No more such artsy side of explaining and enganging with readers. No more fancy vocabs yang enak dibaca, sambil difahami.

People wants simpler methods, yet life is getting more complex than ever.

But hey, you do you. Whatever suits you, hoomans.

I think I am liking this come back slowly. Letting me ease my head's noise once in a while. 

So, hello kembali. I am back. Nah bunga 💐

~ hujan lebat, selebat 'patah perkataan' yang aku tuliskan ~

Seculit Tanah

40 of age, indefinite sins, countless blessings.

Tetapi begitulah. Manusia. Oftenly, kita sibuk menangisi kesedihan, terbawa-bawa duka dunia. Sedangkan dunia ini memang bukannya tempat bersenang lenang. Entah apa lagi yang kita cari. Sebenarnya kita ni mudah kufur nikmat - lupa membanding diri dengan insan yang lebih susah daripada kita.

We got roof over our head, clothes snuggling nicely, food that is enough to kill hunger, cukup sifat di badan, cukup sihat luar dalaman, apa lagi? 

Nikmat Allah yang manakah lagi yang nak kita dustakan?

Apa lah sangat nak dicerita sedih kita putus cinta, berbanding sedihnya perasaan ibu bapa yang kehilangan anak yang dah 9 bulan dalam kandungan. 

Apa lah sangat nak dijaja duka kita tak mampu bercuti merentas dunia, berbanding mereka yang lahir tak punya kaki yang sempurna.

Kenapa tidak dibanding diri seadil kadarnya orang di sekeliling? Yes, because each of us is greedy. Kita nak merasa cukup semua.

We are searching for almost a perfection, yet deep down we know we are nothing more than just a simple creation that owns nothing - not even a single strand of hair, even not a unit of cell, is ours to begin with.

~ kita hanya seculit tanah ~