::: Happier Than Ever

No argument.
Period.
=)

| life is all about Him |

::: Allahu

Maha suci Allah
Pemberi cahaya
Untuk segala yang Dia cipta
Pemberi jalan
Untuk segala yang Dia hakkan

Baru sudah aku tahu
Maha benar seadanya ujian
Maha benar seadanya kecelakaan

Nauzubillah
Allah
Tunjukkan

Padamkan
Apa sahaja yang masih berbaki

Tunjuk aku
Jalan ke syurga
Beri aku
Bahagia ibu bapa
Kirim aku
Imam yang tak berdusta

Salam dari perantauan
Jauh jauh dari kenangan
Dekat dekat dengan kebenaran

| what a truth |

::: Hello World

| journey begins |

::: You

Thank you
For being
Too good to be true

| living a dream ♡ |

::: Tired

There are times..
I am just too tired..

- of being nice
- of being responsible
- of being friendly
- of being detailed
- of being helpful
- of being hopeful
- of being everything

That I can
- for my patients
- for my career
- for my future

Because I have missed and will further miss
- countless hours of my sleep
- hundreds of my loved ones' weddings
- hundreds episodes of my favourite tv shows
- thousands moments of my family gathering
- many opportunities to meet someone new

Just to care for some ill strangers

But one thing keeps me moving
Keeps me smiling
Is what I hold deep within 

"WHAT IF THOSE LYING THERE SICKLY..

ARE MY PARENTS, MY FAMILY, OR MY FRIENDS?"

I shall be thinking

"Would the doctor be
- nice
- responsible
- friendly
- detailed
- helpful
- hopeful
- and everything that is positive?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

3 minggu lepas, aku oncall EOD. Sikit lagi nak jadi gila. Setiap oncall pulak jonahnya Masha-Allah. Melampau-lampau. Selalunya oncall aku 60% cold.

Tapi minggu tu entah kenapala semua oncalls aku panas membara. Admissions tak henti-henti. Emergency OT sampai ada 14 open appendicectomies. Tak termasuk case laparotomies lagi.

That week, my total hours of sleep hanya 15jam. Hebat. Mata jadi panda.

Hari terakhir postcall, boleh pulak aku tertidur masa driving, Mak Jemah oi.. Sedar-sedar dah accident. Kesian. Dengan jujur aku cakap kat mamat tu "Sorry. Saya tertidur masa driving. Penat".

Gamaknya dia kesian. Or terkejut? Tengok muka persis katak aku. Yg berminyak tak bermaya. Pucat. Lepas 4 hari oncall sepanjang minggu.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

My boys are both so lovely. I will love you till Jannah. InshaAllah. Semua ini memang sekadar pinjaman Allah. Tapi cukup. Aku syukur sebab sempat merasa. Disayang dan menyayang =)

| jonahness continues |

::: Oppa

I guess my recent posts had escalated several things up on the other side eh? I knew it would. Huh.

Too obvious. Too obvious.

Keep on rolling dude. Roll until you are done. And crashed.

| ♡ Kang Gary |

::: Living Out

Have you ever heard about any tale about living as a backpacker? Well if you never did, then you are not that interested enough to pursue your journey as a real backpacker then..

A piece of bag pack. A pair of shoes. Two to three pairs of jeans. Less than five pairs of tees. A pair of sunglasses. A suit of raincoat. Some little toiletries. A good map of certain cities. A cute dictionaries of certain languages. A good amount of money.

And set you go! Fly free, like the little bird..

++++++++++++++++++++

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye

++++++++++++++++++++

| see you around! |

::: Faith

Those two taught me well, on fear and hope. Yes, never take a simple fear for granted. Always offer hope, for it is worth a good life and a pretty smile.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Little, but definite.

Is fear.

Small, but great.

Is hope.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Hello aeroplanes! We meet again! Serve me well. Bring me good journey!

| faith is just plain beautiful |

::: I used...

I used
To have a happy life

I used
To have a great friend

I used
To have a good lane

Now
I have a happier life

Now
I have a greater friend

Now
I have a better sane

Game on.
In your face.

| that is just right |

::: Please Dont Promise Me Forever

I want us to love each other one day at a time...
... And string those days together like the precious things they are...
... Instead of trying too hard and promising too much.
Please don't expect me to always be good and kind and loving.
There are times when I will be cold
and thoughtless
and hard to understand.

But it will only be because of the weather, or the flu, or one of my moods
... not because I love you less. Please remember that.
Please don't think about all the things that could happen to us.
Don't think about other people coming between us.
Don't think about outgrowing each other or growing out of love.

Please do think about all the good things that could happen to us.
Think of growing closer to each other,
finding new reasons for being together...
... and think of loving. I will, too. I am right now.

Please don't get mad at me if I forget your birthday,
or some special day we share...
... and please remember that there is an "everydayness"
about what we have that is beyond birthdays and anniversaries
That's why, sometimes, I may not remember on special day...
... because all our days are special to me.

Please don't ever sign a letter "as ever"
Please don't be too easy on me ...
Or expect me to be easy on you.
Both of us have room to grow,
and both of us have to grow if we want to hold each other's love
Please don't ever give me too much of yourself
or take too much of me.
In our togetherness, we still need our private places.

Please listen to me, when I'm talking to you...
... and please don't ever think about someone else when I kiss you
Please don't start an argument
or make me look foolish in front of other people...
... but when we're alone
don't feel like you're walking on eggs.
Go ahead and say what you think.
if I need telling off, tell me off
Then we can have our fight
and make up
and love again
just us.

Please remember to call me sometimes for no reason
except that you feel me thinking about you, needing your voice
Please don't ever lose that laugh of yours-
It's such a real laugh.
And never change the way you brush my hair back from my eyes
and smile when I'm trying to be very serious...
or the little odd ways you have of saying things that make you "you"
one of a kind,
the one I love.

Please, lets not use politeness
And busyness and silence
to avoid our problems
and the places where we hurt if something is wrong,
lets go after it and make it right.
It's a good feeling to think of growing older with you
but please, let's not ever grow old
I want us to always hang on to the newness
that we have right now.
And lets never be ashamed of our innocence,
of the child within us.
Lets never give up our dreams.
Please don't try keep it from me when you're feeling down
I'll never be able to share your joy if you try protect me from your sadness
Please don't ever say never...
... and please don't promise me forever
All I ask
is that you love me
now.

And please know that I love you more today then I ever had before.
I can't promise you forever,
but I can promise you today with the hope and belief
that there is a beautiful tomorrow in store for us.


1976 R.Lyons