Resume

Since Ramadhan, things have been a little bit of messy on my routine.

Last 2 night was the worse. Setiap sejam terjaga. Entah kenapa.

Last night was a bit better. Thanks to that 4km of briskwalk that evening.

I must get back to early sleep.

I must get back to 60 mins of walk per day (well except on oncall days la kan)...

There lies the problem. 

Im taking many oncalls for the past few months.

Penat yang bukan-bukan.

Seronoknya if tak perlu oncall langsung.

But then it means, less claim per month.

Siapa laaaaa yang sibuk mencipta konsep duit ni ye. Semak betul.

~ i need a proper 8 hours of totally uninterrupted sleep ~ 

Long Weekend

That long weekend, we had a nice last minute getaway. Had the fun that I needed after so long. Although any vacation can be tiring, especially when it involves oldies and kiddies 😅, but at least it will be balanced by the dopamine and such. 

Well, Austrian GP was a major let down. Max DNF. 1st lap and he was out with Kimi alongside. Penat je menunggu malam tiba. But well, slept early and had a good restart in the morning.

Face was burnt but I had to burn my midnight oil quite so often this week. Gonna gave 3 EEOD oncalls, including a Sunday. 🤮🤮🤮

~ F1 movie hasnt trigger my interest just yet ~

The Void

They say it takes 7 years to forget someone. 

Because it takes 7 years for all the body cells to be replaced by new ones..

I dont have that 7 years.. 

I refuse to wait for that 7 years..

😔😔😔

~ O! Allah. Heal me from what is unbeknown within me ~

People Watching

How I missed just sitting around in a random green park, people watching at a strange city, embracing the chilly wind with nobody but me. 

Doing nothing important, but just sipping a cup of hot chocolate, as well as enjoying nice bites of egg mayo sandwich or croissant. 

What a dream.

Planned for Kelantan + Terengganu, got to cancel. Planned for Sulawesi, also have to cancel. MotoGP, also got cancelled.

Apehal semua tarikh pun susah nak dapat cuti ni hoiiiii!!!!!!

Mungkinkah patut ikut cakap my mom - 'jom kita tiga pegi umrah end of this year'..

Of course la aku nak, but the cost per person is just beyond my pocket's ability for now.. 🥲🥲🥲

Hasbunallah wanikmal wakeel. 

May Allah make it easy for me.

~ rindunya Madinah ~

Oldie But Spunky

I have been using this mobile phone since 2020. Thats something to be proud of, no?

I used to be changing phones every 2-3 years while I was in the UK and pre working era. 

In the UK, renewal of mobile phone contracts usually come with free mobile device (fairly, quite the recent models) with no increment of the monthly bill. Some loyal customers who know when to bargain well are even offered free bills for the first 6-10 months for renewal plus a free device too!

While in Malaysia, yes, mobile networks do offer free phone (BUT usually the outdated models!!!) upon renewal, but MOST of the time the billing price would be slightly MORE - they probably are taking into consideration the cost of the 'free phone'.

Truly, being back in Malaysia makes me realise, I actually can live with the same mobile phone as long as 5 years. The battery health may be not so great now. Need to charge it 1-2 times daily, on average. But hey, not so bad eh.

Some people believe, we have to keep up with the latest turnover of technology. Nah. Maybe not for me. Camera, whatsapp, email, basic social media apps (well, just Fb + Instagram is sufficient in my defense) and direct call can function well - I am good to go.

Renyah la nak kena ada semua benda and function. The new generation kena ada apps for filter lah, video recording lah, audio recording jugak, photos and documents editors nya pulak.. Pening kepala makcik, nyah.. 

Indeed I am already old, and going back to the basic feels so nice and classy. I just dream of a slow and peaceful, yet fulfilling life. 

Less apps, less hassles, less drama.

~ lets see how many more years can this phone serve me ~

Taugey and Their Haters

Dropped my ass at the nearby stalls within my housing area. Like 20 metres away.

And now, I am currently waiting for my order - fried kuey teow. 

Aku mintak kosong, they said they still gonna charge at the same price. Then I said I dont want chicken slices, but can they just replace them with a sunny side up egg instead (i.e. at a cheaper cost, by right). 

The seller said they gonna have to add the price on for an egg, despite ditching the chicken slices.

Kahkahkahkah. Mak aihhhh. Aku mintak telur instead of ayam, siap kena tambah harga. Aku mintak tak payah letak ayam, katanya harga tetap sama. Wow makcik.. Tiada belas kasihan di situ... Firm and stern! Begitulah..

Hujung bulan ni makcik sekeluarga pergi umrah lah nampak gayanya.. Hehehehe

Akur je lah diknon. 

'Banyak cikadak sangat, kau masak la sendiri!'

😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣

The price of ease and laziness ke ni? Ngehehe...

And, sementara menunggu order yang entah bila nak siap ni, ramai pulak customers lain datang. 80% said 'taknak taugey ye kak'...

Sungguh la? Taugey tu crispy krupp krupp krupp kot. Sedap laaa... Plus low calories...

Now, apa salah taugey? Terhibur betul aku petang ni dengan diri aku sendiri...

~ semoga korang semua murah rezeki! ~

Unfuckwithable

Lesson learnt

Experience kept

------

Im comfortable of being alone

You disrespect me

I will walk away

You overstep your boundaries

I will cut you off

You try to manipulate or threaten to leave me

I will gladly hold the door open for you without a single fuck given

Because I dont NEED you in my life

I choose to let you be in it

Im unfuckwithable

~ resonating lines by Adam Cam 🤍 ~

Surge of Bleeding and Hierapolis

Attended a caesarean section with extended tear. Patient had a sudden surge of bleeding - 1.2 L within less than 5 minutes. Total loss at the end of the surgery was 1.7 L. More than 25% of her blood volume.

That sudden surge of bleeding, turned things upside down within seconds. She got tachycardia up to 160 bpm while I pumped in crytalloids and blood products concurrently. And, her coexisting chorioamnionitis made things worst for sure.

In a split second, just like that, she went from being the most pink, to the most pale. 

Alhamdulillah, things were made easy by the Almighty. Resuscitated her well. She responded well too. The fact that she is still at her mid 20s made me had a good sigh of relief.

This situation makes me relate things on a deeper level of life.

We humans are like that too. Challenges that come in a sudden surge, are tolerated so badly compared to those that creep in gradually. Adjustment isnt as easy as how it is explained. Our brains are not as flexible to emotions overload.

The same impact goes to death.

Dying from a chronic illness is usually easily accepted as compared to a sudden death from a motor vehicle accident or a massive heart attack during sleep.

The same degree of loss, come in different paces, bring about different spectrum of reactions.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Here is a semi vide view of Hierapolis, Pamukkale in a nice spring weather. I just need a constant reminder that vacation needs money. 🤣🤣🤣 No money, no plane tickets.

~ sungguh laaaaaaa ~

Nasi Kandar, Mizi Wahid dan Cox Bazaar

I just had a plate of nasi kandar. And 30mins post prandial, tadaaaaa~ I became the sleepyhead looking confused in front of my desktop. Then here I am, trying to wash it off. Looks like I am gonna failed this mission soon too.

Is it too much MSG? Or too much happiness from a plate full of carbs that lead to all of this? I am confused myself. Nonetheless, bersyukur lah nak oiiii. Jiran sebelah tu makan tulang je gamaknya.

I work so much better on an empty tummy earlier on. Got nearly quarter of the workloads done. And now, I am at the risk of not getting anything further. Alahai la nasi kandar.

See, merapu.

Anyway, I ordered the latest book by Mizi Wahid, Grieving with God (non-fiction) last week. Hope it reach me soon because this soul is tired and needing some new kick on the frontal lobe. I tried getting back to brisk walking, running and weight lifting. Those seem blunt lately, with unpredictable weather especially in the late noon. I cant do those inside - there is no joy of adrenaline within any confined walls. I need the charming carpets of cloud and sun light, mixed with carbon monoxide exhaled from humans lungs. Those are the happy mixture of good adrenaline combating the cortisol splurge.

Trash note ahead. 

A friend called for a meet up during Sepang MotoGP which gonna happen sometimes this October. He handsomely offered the grandstand premium seat along with the other old friends. Sadly, those dates are blocked for my department in view of major exam happening during that period of time. Orang lain exam, kita la kena kerah kerja sampai lunyai. Dunia kapitalis. Begitulah. Mehhhh.. So goodbye to that sponsored ticket. Ariezabohari is sad, sadder and saddest.. That could be my first ever MotoGP in attendance. Melepas.

Kutupalong Cox Bazaar Refugee Camp. 2018.

Out of the sudden, I am now thinking about this humanitarian mission that I joined 6-7 years ago. I miss those days. Being selfless, feeling tiny and inspired by those activists all around the globe. Offering nothing major, other than some act of services, humanity and hope.

The same NGO called me for some flood rescue mission few years back, but I had to turn it down because it clashed with work commitments. Banjir kat Kelantan haritu pun ada satu NGO opened seat to volunteer, but I was really not at my best. Said no from the very beginning. Nak offer diri pegi G---, memang agak mustahil di situ, unless kita ni is someone well known di mata pihak aktivis kebangsaan or the kementerian. Hence, kita buat la kat peringkat yang kita mampu je ye.. Semoga peluang banyak datang bergolek kembali. Ariezabohari needs those grounding moments back. To remind me to always be thankful, because no matter how low I feel, there are lots of other people who suffer worse than me. Apalah sangat dengan secalit kesusahan yang kita rasa kadang-kala ni kan..

Maka nikmat Tuhan yang manakah yang ingin engkau dustakan? Surah Ar-Rahman.

Ok dah la. From nasi kandar, to Cox Bazaar. Kau rasa? Train of thoughts ni memang random betul.

~ semoga yang tertindas, Allah pelihara, dan mereka baik-baik sahaja ~

Never Halfway

 ~ i love like home ~