1 April 2010

::: My Future Career 10 - Dia Mati Di Depan Mata Aku

1st time real experience.. 1st April 2010. The date I probably will remember forever.

At about 4.45am, the doctor in charge in the A&E mintak aku pegi Resuscitation Room. Katanya ada patient with cardiac arrest akan tiba in 15 minutes time. So she was looking for some help from doctors, nurses. & I guess, she knew that I may be interested to see how they do life saving. So there we were, 3 doctors, 3 staff nurses, 2 paramedics, 1 medical student. Prepared for the worst.

Then the ambulance arrived. Paramedics sepantas kilat datang tolak the patient yang dah pucat lesu hampir biru. Transferred from trolley ke katil, terus start CPR. I was standing beside the doctor in charge, observing how calm she was & how effective all of them were. Aku just mampu membantu sikit-sikit - angkat the patient into position, tolong nurses sana sini, pass barang-barang to doctors yang buat cannulation & ABG then send the blood to lab.

15 minutes of CPR but nothing. Masih tak bernafas, masih tak ade heart beats. Injected Adrenaline. Still nothing. Then 2 minutes later, the doctor in charge said that hey better stop trying since dah sejam patient to kena cardiac arrest from the moment her family members found her collapsed in her house till that moment where we tried to keep her alive.

We pronounced her dead at 5.28 am. Agreed decision.

3 minutes later, the nurses noticed some signs of life - patient started to show some breathing. Immediately, everyone kicked in & CPR dimulakan balik. Semua masih mengharap that the patient can still be saved.. 2 minutes later, she got her heart beats & breathing back although extremely weak.

We kept her comfortable. Everyone stayed quiet around her. Bad prognosis. Peripheral supply dah shut down. Kaki & tangan semua dah pucat & sejuk. macam ais Although she was still breathing & having pulses, we did not expect her to survive. Not more than an hour. Perhaps less than 30 minutes. Nonetheless, we did not stop having hope.

As what we expected, she did not make it to the end. She died 15 minutes later. The heart stopped beating & there was no breathing effort at all. Having had other significant morbidity - end stage motor neurone disease - we knew her prognosis was just too bad. She can now rest in peace. Let her be in a better place.

The doctor in charge offered me to follow her & another staff nurse to break the bad news to the family. Aku ikut je. Jumpa 2 orang family members si mati.

'We are very sorry to inform you that your mom is dead (long paused).. We tried our best But she could not survive..' Tears. Emotional. Silence. They accepted it calmly sebab sudah menjangka itu mungkin terjadi.

20 minutes later, I went home. Berjalan dalam subuh yang tenang. Satu persatu kaki aku melangkah. Bermuhasabah. Walau tak banyak aku menyumbang, tapi aku tau ini satu permulaan.

Ini kerjaya yang aku pilih. Arieza, jangan menyesal. Hidup mati mereka di tangan Tuhan. Kita berusaha, biar Dia menentukan... Tapi yang aku pelik, aku terlalu tenang di sepanjang kejadian - dari saat patient tu sampai, pronounced dead, till the moment we delivered the news to the family. Emotionless kah aku? Aku tak mau begitu..~


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