::: Please Dont Promise Me Forever

I want us to love each other one day at a time...
... And string those days together like the precious things they are...
... Instead of trying too hard and promising too much.
Please don't expect me to always be good and kind and loving.
There are times when I will be cold
and thoughtless
and hard to understand.

But it will only be because of the weather, or the flu, or one of my moods
... not because I love you less. Please remember that.
Please don't think about all the things that could happen to us.
Don't think about other people coming between us.
Don't think about outgrowing each other or growing out of love.

Please do think about all the good things that could happen to us.
Think of growing closer to each other,
finding new reasons for being together...
... and think of loving. I will, too. I am right now.

Please don't get mad at me if I forget your birthday,
or some special day we share...
... and please remember that there is an "everydayness"
about what we have that is beyond birthdays and anniversaries
That's why, sometimes, I may not remember on special day...
... because all our days are special to me.

Please don't ever sign a letter "as ever"
Please don't be too easy on me ...
Or expect me to be easy on you.
Both of us have room to grow,
and both of us have to grow if we want to hold each other's love
Please don't ever give me too much of yourself
or take too much of me.
In our togetherness, we still need our private places.

Please listen to me, when I'm talking to you...
... and please don't ever think about someone else when I kiss you
Please don't start an argument
or make me look foolish in front of other people...
... but when we're alone
don't feel like you're walking on eggs.
Go ahead and say what you think.
if I need telling off, tell me off
Then we can have our fight
and make up
and love again
just us.

Please remember to call me sometimes for no reason
except that you feel me thinking about you, needing your voice
Please don't ever lose that laugh of yours-
It's such a real laugh.
And never change the way you brush my hair back from my eyes
and smile when I'm trying to be very serious...
or the little odd ways you have of saying things that make you "you"
one of a kind,
the one I love.

Please, lets not use politeness
And busyness and silence
to avoid our problems
and the places where we hurt if something is wrong,
lets go after it and make it right.
It's a good feeling to think of growing older with you
but please, let's not ever grow old
I want us to always hang on to the newness
that we have right now.
And lets never be ashamed of our innocence,
of the child within us.
Lets never give up our dreams.
Please don't try keep it from me when you're feeling down
I'll never be able to share your joy if you try protect me from your sadness
Please don't ever say never...
... and please don't promise me forever
All I ask
is that you love me
now.

And please know that I love you more today then I ever had before.
I can't promise you forever,
but I can promise you today with the hope and belief
that there is a beautiful tomorrow in store for us.


1976 R.Lyons

::: Alhamdulillah

Semua sudah selesai
Usai satu persatu

Semua urusan semua majlis
Allah permudahkan

Tinggallah aku dalam sejuta kali gelap
Tidak lagi aku pernah jatuh dan sesat

Kerana di sana
Dia ada
Sentiasa ada


| Alhamdulillah untuk semua |

::: Penat Mengejar

Kamu--
Tidak pernahkah kamu rasa
Penat--
Mengejar

Mengejar apa yang belum kamu pernah ada
Mengejar apa yang kamu rasa kamu mahu ada
Mengejar apa yang entah Allah redha mahupun murka

Penat
Sumpah, mengejar ini terlalu penat



Andai itu hidup yang dicari
Maka kejarlah hingga kebas kaki dan hati

Sesiapa tiada kuasa memberi apa-apa
Kecuali diri kita sendiri
Diperkenankan Dia Maha Pencipta

Semoga dijumpa
Apa sahaja yang dikejar

Semoga--
Itu jalan yang sebenar-benar benar..


| tamat |

::: Vacay

This time it is further.
To family and friends.
I will be announcing something big next week.
Till then..


| mencari Allah |

::: Mercedes ***19*8

Thank you. Really.


| ... |

::: Esok Lusa Tulat Tulat Tulat Tulat Tulat

Aku
Tiada

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Teringat - SINI

"When I said I trust you, meaning I am willing to and have sacrifice so much to overcome that great deal of my own fear and past. Thus, I beg any of you - who I already trust, who I already have faith in - to listen, to share, to love, to live together - please dont take that trust for granted."

Ada

Berbaki

Sisa-sisa

Allah

Tolong ambil semua

Aku enggan jaga

Cukup

Aku rasa cukup  


| cukuplah Allah ku untuk ku |

::: Satu

Silapnya cuma satu. SATU.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dalam berjalan ke arah tuntutan Allah, pasti tak lekang ujian ditarah.

Aku ingat lagi - aku masih mahu cekal mempertahan.

Tetapi gagal - kerana mereka dahulu mengalah pada godaan.

Kalah pada dunia dan permainan.

Tak apa. Hasbi Rabbi.

Nanti aku kembali.

| sayup-sayup meredah jalan |

::: Moving On

Orang cuma dapat mendengar, dapat cuba untuk memahami
Tetapi yang merasa sakitnya cuma kita sendiri

What a broken heart needs is time
With time, come strength
With time, come patience
With time, come acceptance


Biarlah cuma Allah ada di hati
Biarlah cuma Allah rindu disemi
Biarlah cuma Allah cinta diberi
Kerana Allah tidak pernah menyakiti

La Tahzan
Allah dah kata jadi, maka jadilah segala
Allah takkan uji lebih daripada kita punya kudrat tenaga
Juga kemampuan hati

Yakin
Percaya
Allah balas segala 


| to walk through is the hardest path. once through, it will all be just fine |

:: A Letter to You

Dear you,

Just 3 days in 2013, yet so much have happened to me, friend. And I believe, such so did happen in yours too. =)

I now have learn to come to term - to let everything bad passes me as flawless as they want. But to reminisce every single happy moment that I deserve to celebrate.

I want to not question for their reasons to happen, but I will learn to analyze my mistakes - creating changes and moving forward. Forgive and forget, apologize and behave.

I am done letting myself to fall along a bottomless hill. Seeing things around me, make me realize, of what purposes I really live for.

We have family. Yet we spend good time the very least with them. (oh, maybe this applies on me only)

We have true friends. Yet we turn around thinking someone else is better than them.

Sad, regret - for so much that I have missed.

Today, 2 days before I turn 28, I am writing this thing to you, to remind you, my future self, to not look down on yourself during any bad periods. 

Have faith, to face hardships. Accept some facts that no one is perfect. Accept others as they are and deliver forgiveness as they request.

Strength, is what I am working towards. So must you.

Strength to become realistic in achieving dreams. 

Strength to bear with hardships that are really unforeseen.

Ganbatte kudasai, Arieza!

May you realize, upon reading this, that you have made a promise, to none other than yourself. So get up, and have fun in learning about life! =)

Love,

You

| =) |

::: Cliche 2013

Daripada tajuk pun dah tahu, entry ini going to be lame - which includes wishing everyone a happy new year and live long in joy and prosperity. Lame! Ceit.

Not now. Tahun baru, apa sangat la yang istimewa. Setiap 12 bulan sambut benda yang sama. Kesudahannya? Ada apa-apa ke yang berubah? Bagai nak rak menyambut sakan. Muharram dah lama berlalu, Mek.. Malam itu, kau tahu yang buku amalan kau dah buka siri baru?

Do you think you were better last year? Do you think you had achieved more last year? Do you think you were even making any small progress at all in every aspects?

Kalau ada, tahniah. Teruskan pencapaian.

Kalau takda, tak payah la seronok bebenor nak menyambut new year kononnyer. Habuk pun tarak. Masih di takuk lama. Masih belum ada yang mampu dibanggakan. Tin kosong ketang ketong ketang ketong~

Tahun silih berganti. Usia meningkat meniti. Bukan cuma kita, tetapi mak ayah kita juga.

Benar ajal maut di tangan Tuhan. Namun aku bukan sempurna boleh tolak segala rasa gundah apabila mempersoal usia orang tua. Hari-hari tadah tangan. Semoga semuanya baik-baik sahaja. Allah tahu setiap perjalanan. Esok lusa mungkin aku yang tiada.

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Cliche-nya topik azam tahun baru, kan? Well, semoga mata kau terus rela membaca benda redundant sebegini... So, here goes.

Untuk aku...

"Mahu lebih dekat pada Allah. Belajar jadi lebih tabah. Ada rintangan, belajar pasrah. Semoga Allah akan permudah."

| malam tahun baru, banyak maksiat berlaku |